In the Knowing

Love.  Joy.  Acceptance.  Peace.  Friendship.  Adventure. All of these things we consider essential to make our life complete, to make our life full.  When they are lacking we feel their void - we feel unloved, unlovely even.  But the real quest for me has been how to find these and truly live in them.  All of these are connected to relationship, the one thing that I find truly daunting.  Daunting in every realm, family, friendship, acquaintance - daunting at every level.

In my life I've had a wall that keeps a certain level of detachment in relationships.  It keeps them at just the right distance so when that relationship ends it's not as painful as if I'd allowed the perception of something permanent.  But I know that isn't what we were created for.  I know that we were created to know and to be known.

In my mind I ponder why things are so temporal.  In my heart I know that we have eternity.  But how do I connect the head to what is planted in my heart when we live in a world of the finite.   

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.

- Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

 

 

So my quest is in how to bridge the chasm between the desire of my heart and the path of my thoughts?  If I allowed myself to live with that wall instead of embarking on the quest to remove it, how would I live out all that I was meant to?  How would I have those deep desires of true love, joy, acceptance, peace, friendship, and yes, even adventure?

 

I know where the answer is found - it is found in spending time with the one who created both my heart and mind and laying those fears of being unloved and unlovely before Him.  The answer to pulling that wall down is found in trusting in His grace to stand with and guard my heart. 

 

For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

- Ephesians 2:10

 

I have an intense desire to do all that God has planned for me.  I want to get rid of those walls that keep me from those things. Those walls that keep me from fulfillment.  Those walls that keep me from helping others find their fulfillment.  Because in the end, it isn't all about ourselves, at least it shouldn't be, it should be about impacting the world as God created us to.  We are His workmanship, His masterpiece, the product of His hand.  He breathed His own breath into us for the purpose of life, for the purpose of relationship. 

 

 

I know that this quest will be a success.  I have been given that promise, so I will continue and rest in this:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

- Philippians 1:6