In the Knowing

Love.  Joy.  Acceptance.  Peace.  Friendship.  Adventure. All of these things we consider essential to make our life complete, to make our life full.  When they are lacking we feel their void - we feel unloved, unlovely even.  But the real quest for me has been how to find these and truly live in them.  All of these are connected to relationship, the one thing that I find truly daunting.  Daunting in every realm, family, friendship, acquaintance - daunting at every level.

In my life I've had a wall that keeps a certain level of detachment in relationships.  It keeps them at just the right distance so when that relationship ends it's not as painful as if I'd allowed the perception of something permanent.  But I know that isn't what we were created for.  I know that we were created to know and to be known.

In my mind I ponder why things are so temporal.  In my heart I know that we have eternity.  But how do I connect the head to what is planted in my heart when we live in a world of the finite.   

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.

- Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

 

 

So my quest is in how to bridge the chasm between the desire of my heart and the path of my thoughts?  If I allowed myself to live with that wall instead of embarking on the quest to remove it, how would I live out all that I was meant to?  How would I have those deep desires of true love, joy, acceptance, peace, friendship, and yes, even adventure?

 

I know where the answer is found - it is found in spending time with the one who created both my heart and mind and laying those fears of being unloved and unlovely before Him.  The answer to pulling that wall down is found in trusting in His grace to stand with and guard my heart. 

 

For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

- Ephesians 2:10

 

I have an intense desire to do all that God has planned for me.  I want to get rid of those walls that keep me from those things. Those walls that keep me from fulfillment.  Those walls that keep me from helping others find their fulfillment.  Because in the end, it isn't all about ourselves, at least it shouldn't be, it should be about impacting the world as God created us to.  We are His workmanship, His masterpiece, the product of His hand.  He breathed His own breath into us for the purpose of life, for the purpose of relationship. 

 

 

I know that this quest will be a success.  I have been given that promise, so I will continue and rest in this:

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

- Philippians 1:6

Restored to Relationship - Thoughts on Easter

 

As we approach Resurrection Sunday, I have been pondering the work that Christ did in coming to the earth, dying for each of us, and rising from the dead. 

In all of it, so many wanted Him to take a place of position.  People wanted Him to take a crown as a sitting king.  But Christ chose a path meant to restore relationship, not to assume a position in man’s eyes.

Christ was fully human and fully God all at once.  My mind can’t even comprehend that – but in that, how many times must He have been tempted to take the position that so many wanted him to take. In being fully God He had the ability,  He had the power.  People wanted Him to take the kingship of Israel, to show the world who He really was.   As humans, don’t we want to be proven right?  Don’t we want to be approved and placed in positions of authority?  Don’t we want others to view us as right and good and successful?

Yet Christ knew the route He was taking would cause others to view Him as a failure.  In man’s eyes, not only would He not be put in an earthly place of authority, but He would be treated as the lowest of the low and looked upon with scorn and disappointment.

Christ had a goal that we didn’t see.  He had a goal of restored relationship.  In reality, that’s what salvation is – it restores us to a place of right-standing with God.  The work of Christ restored us to a place where we can have a personal relationship with God.  THE GOD, THE ONE AND ONLY.  Christ didn’t come to show us in human terms how powerful He is, He came to bring us back to a place of relationship. 

 

His view was on a higher plane.  He knew there was a spiritual component that we didn’t realize.  He knew that in taking what looked to be the dishonorable route, He was really placing himself to win the ultimate prize.

Not only did He win the victory over death, but he made a way for He and I – you and God– to have an intimate relationship.    

All of this made me think about my choices.  Am I choosing Him?  Am I making choices that place relationships ahead of position?  Am I making choices that view relationship as the utmost of importance?  Christ did.  Restoring us to right relationship was his ultimate goal, and He sacrificed all to win that. 

Relationship is that important to Him.  If I am His– if you are His – are we putting relationship in its rightful place?  Relationship with Him?  Relationship with each other?

Those are my thoughts this Easter season.  It's introspective and there is no set answer.  Each of us has to do our own evaluation.  I can't evaluate you and you can't evaluate me.  I can't evaluate my spouse, and he can't evaluate me.  It's about our heart's focus.  I would encourage you to think over those things as you go into this Easter weekend.

The Path of Love

My Mom’s birthday is coming up this Sunday, April 27^th.  I have been thinking about her a lot this week as she isn’t here to celebrate with, but in heaven.  Instead of thinking about what gift I could possibly give to her as I did for so many years, I’ve been thinking about the gifts she left with me.  My mom loved Jesus.  She loved Him, and she allowed Father God to shape her heart.  She travelled the path of love to the narrow gate.  What is the narrow path of love?  How do we walk it?  I believe that my mom modeled the answer to that for me – it is by allowing the heart of the Father to shape our heart and to see through His eyes, instead of resting on our own vision.

It is a Path of Love.  Loving the Father.  Loving those that Christ died for.  Loving ourselves because He loves us so.  Matthew 7 talks about the way that leads to life, and the verses that surround those set the stage for how to find that path to the narrow gate that leads there.

The chapter begins in talking about how we view others.  Jesus talks about not judging others when we haven’t even looked at the issues we are still dealing with.  When we realize the hurtful words we have spoken, the unforgiveness we allow to remain, the actions that displayed anything but love - how can we talk badly of others?  How can we decide that someone is no longer worthy of our love or friendship?  If we are looking at others through the loving eyes of Christ, how can we discount them or render them unworthy?  How much has Christ forgiven in us, and how can we not do the same?

My mom displayed this time and time again.  I would see people that she loved disappoint.  Yet, she made decisions not to say an unkind word.  She made decisions to speak well of, to continue to show love to, to reach out to people because they needed that love, and it is that love that led many to know Christ.

My Mom trusted the Father. 

• She trusted that He had good things for her, and in this she was able to rest in His love.
• She bore good fruits – even now I talk to people who recount the sincere impact she made on their lives just by accepting and loving on them. 
• Her trust rested in the strong foundation of Christ. 

The path of love is a difficult one to walk.  It is impossible if we attempt it in our own strength.  It is also the most rewarding.  When we allow ourselves to let go of our pride, our arrogance, our self-pity, and to rest in Christ’s love, we find the strength to walk that path in amazing peace and to choose to love again and again.  It is there, at that point of letting go, that we can fully embrace the peace and love that is available to us because we are allowing it to flow from us to others.

As I reflect on this I think about my own heart.  Is there anyone I need to ask for forgiveness?  Is there a relationship I have allowed to be broken due to unforgiveness?  Have I not extended mercy and love?  Am I allowing Christ to form a heart that walks that path of love?  As I pray, as I worship, as I spend time in His presence, I trust that He is forming my heart.  I also look at the examples set before me.  I honor the sacrifices they made and take to heart the road they travelled.  I anticipate seeing the face of the Father, and also the faces I love and miss so dearly that have travelled through that gate.  But for now, my heart is to walk a road of love until that time….  I love and miss you Mom!!!!  May my daughter see the heart that you displayed reflected in my life.

A New Day

It is 2014 already!!  When I look back at when I posted my last blog, I can't believe how time has passed.  I know why I haven't written - I am married, have a 3-year old, I work full time, have extended family and friends.  Time is precious. We have to know what season we are in and where we should be putting our time.  Mine has been spent on people lately, not those online, on facebook, or on emails very much, but those in front of me.  2013 was a year of transition, and keeping peace in my heart and home was another full time job.  But 2013 is gone, and 2014 has come.  What will it hold?

Coming into this new year, the scripture that God laid on my heart is from Philippians:

"I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it."

- Philippians 3:13-16 (The Message)

It is a new day. A day to begin again. A day to put the past behind and walk in the new. Isn't that why Christ came? To give us the opportunity to walk with Him daily?  To give us the option to choose Him, to choose life, to choose to put the past behind and to press on and in to what He has for us?  To walk in His grace and fulfill what he has called us to do?  Sometimes we don't see where the path we walk is leading us, and that can be discouraging.  Sometimes the path has been so hard and the disappointments so great that we want to step away from the path.  But in His gentle, loving way, Christ calls us to continue.  He calls us to keep pressing toward the dreams He placed in our hearts.  God knew when He placed them there that we would need His strength to reach those dreams, to reach the places we never imagined we would be.

So today, look at Jesus, look at Him and know that you are whole, you are complete in Him.  You  have all you need.  And you can continue to press on, not because of how you feel, but because you can trust that Christ will give you all you need at just the right time.  So, I am writing again.  I am posting a blog entry.  I am reaching forward for where God is calling, and allowing Him to 'clear my blurred vision' that the cares of this world have brought in.

True Friendship at All Times

What a year it has been!  It seems that over the past year so many things have happened.  Friends have gone away, my baby girl was born, relationships changed.... So many changes.  There is one thing that remains constant and that is God and His love.  It's in the hard times that we realize this the most.  Sometimes a person fails us, sometimes we see the faithfulness of someone God has put into our lives.  This year in my life two of the most monumental things happened:

1. I lost my mom, who I talked to almost daily, who shared my faith, who encouraged me, and who I couldn't wait to introduce my baby girl to. 
2. Then there was the arrival of my baby girl, the most wonderful and beautiful little angel ever (who is, right at this moment, pulling everything off of the shelf under her changing table, AGAIN.....).

I have found it amazing as I've walked through this year and through these major changes in life, how all of the other relationships around us can change.  For instance, I realize just how incredible my husband is.  I have to say, it gives me a whole new appreciation for single parents because without my husband, who is also my best friend, I'm not sure how I would have made it through this past year.  I began to see friendships in different light - those that are heavily dependant on what you give the other person and not a true give and take, fade because you don't have extra to give.  Those that I may not have realized were so valuable and true friends became even brighter.  But mostly I realize the complete and total faithfuleness of God and the value of His friendship. 

"The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18:24 (AMP)

God gives us friends among each other and His desire is for us to be in relationships, but we all fail each other from time to time.  But there is a relationship that we can rely on no matter what, and that is the most precious relationship that we can cultivate.  Our relationship with the Lord is one that will never fail us, even when we ourselves fail.  It is the relationship that will also put all of our other relationships in the right perspective, even in the hard times.  It is the one that will bring healing and forgiveness.  It is the one that will bring joy and laughter.  It is the one that will bring truth and revelation to our lives. 

Friendship with God is of greater value than any other thing in our lives and more worthy of our time and attention, yet so many times we get busy and let our time with God dwindle away.  The wonderful thing about Him is that He is waiting there as soon as we realize it and turn to Him.  So there is no better time than the present to take time out for Him.  He is ever faithful and always there for us no matter if we are celebrating on the highest mountain or finding our way through the lowest place in our life.  His love and friendship is there.  I have always known that, but over the past year my need for that revelation has become more prevelant than ever.

Friendship with God - what a wonderful thing!  He gives us so much, and to end this entry, here are a couple of pictures of the precious ones He has given to me:

Haley Elizabeth

Thankful, that is probably what I should have titled this blog entry. 

I know it has been way too long since I've posted on my blog.  I have to say that my pregnancy since June has been very emotional since my mom's passing.  I think it was knowing that she wasn't here for me to share things with. 

That being said, I am so thankful to the Lord for a wonderful pregnancy and my labor was very short.  I even made it without an epidural, although I have to say that if I hadn't been too far along when I got to the hospital to get one, I would have gone for it.  I am so thankful to have gone without it though.

Our baby girl, Haley Elizabeth, arrived on October 25th at 2:17am.  She weighed 7lbs, 1oz, and was 19.1 inches long. 

Here she is:

We are so blessed and loving having our little girl here with us.  I just can't put into words how much we love her and how special she is to us.  Haley is a true testimony of God's faithfulness.

God has blessed us so much - we are so thankful!

A Legacy of Love

My mom, Donna Thompson, went to be with the Lord on Sunday, June 13th.  Her life has made a profound impact on the people that knew her.  The following is what I wrote to sum up how I feel about her life.  She loves the Lord with all that she is.  Her five children, 13 grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren have seen how she lived out that love.  This is the legacy that she leaves.

A Legacy of Love

My mom’s legacy is one of LOVE. Mom loved the Lord and allowed His love to flow through her. She loved without expectation, without looking for return, she just loved people with the love of the Lord. She wanted them to know the love Christ has for them. My mom is the richest person I know because she loved.

Many people quote 1 Corinthians 13, but when I look at my mom’s life, she lived it. The love she shared was long suffering, kind, never paraded or puffed up. I can think of so many situations where she didn’t think of her own self, but loved without thinking evil or looking at the wrongs of a person’s situation, but only of how she could love on them, and in that share the love of Christ.

Mom didn’t do this by herself though; she took her family with her. I can’t count the times our days consisted of serving others because they had a need – a ride to the grocery store, spending time with someone who couldn’t get out, gathering food or clothing for a family in need. We had kids in our home after school, even after all of her own children were grown, just letting them spend time, giving them snacks and talking to them about their lives and about the difference Jesus makes in our lives.

Mom taught me to see people through the eyes of Jesus. She knew that if they would only surrender to His love, their lives would be transformed. Mom knew life could be hard. She had seen the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on a life, on a family. But she had also encountered the life-changing, heart healing power of Jesus Christ.

There is so much I could say about my mom. You can see the legacy of love if you look at her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Mom’s one desire is for others to know the Lord, to really know Him and to allow His love to transform their heart and mind.

Mom only knew in part, only saw in a mirror dimly, but now she is face to face with perfect love, now she is in the full presence of the One who is LOVE, the ONE who first loved us.

For Mom, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, and that is where we will see her again.